This is a vent. Be warned.
Do you tell new people that you meet that you have a blog? Do you give out your blog address first thing? I don’t. Some people I’ve spent a lot of time with do not know that I keep a blog and was never really told. I have been accused of not taking pride in my blog because of it, but that is not why I sometimes keep quiet when blogging comes up.
I am proud, I’m very proud of what I create. It’s just a bit complicated to explain, even to myself…
Because even though I don’t write an everyday diary online (I keep those personal thoughts in my personal diary notebook), I feel that the more I post the more personal it is to share it with “new people”. Do you understand what I mean? My art is personal to me even if I want to share it online. I take pride in my writing, because I love to write. It makes me truly happy when I’m told that my posts inspire you to create something.
Sometimes though it feels like I let those new acquaintances peak into my head when I don’t get access to their brain. It makes the relationship uneven and a bit scary to me. And sometimes the opposite happens. I reveal where the blogs at but then never get a comment back. And then I worry. What did they think about it? Feeling a bit sad, thinking they didn’t bother visiting at all? Or didn’t get it? I know I pre-judge people sometimes, not thinking that they could “understand me” or all this.
– Have a little trust, will you Hanna?! I’m told. I guess it also have to do with me being an introvert, being territorial and protecting my blog until it feels safe to share…
It’s kind of like when a child shows her newly created painting to her busy parents who doesn’t notice it’s importance. Or what a gift the sharing really is… Sometimes that just hurts.
Ultimately I think that my visitors find their way here by shared interests (searching for words or phrases that I’ve mentioned in my posts) and end up staying because they like what they find. Right? That’s why you’re here right now, and maybe it’s the reason you’ll visit again and want to read my next post? Those are the visitors I want here, the people who “get” these subjects that I’m passionate about. Not curious co-workers or people not interested in mixed media craziness…
Most of my visitors are close friends (who doesn’t comment very often) and other bloggers that write on similar subjects. At least those are the people I know off, because you comment so kindly! Thank you! There are lots of visitors who never make themselves known to me of course. But in real life I still find it difficult to explain who I am when it comes to art. There are so many concepts that are unknown to most people in my surroundings, and I am so many of those things – at least in my mind. For example, what the hell is mixed media, art journals, collage, online classes, art exchanges, mail swaps, flickr, wordpress, bloglines, vlogging, twitter, ravelry, self-publishing, etc, etc.
How about you? What’s your thoughts on this subject? Do you tell everyone? Do you brag enough? And what to do with those people that will never understand what you do? Keep trying or give up on explaining why you’ve got glue on your fingers and acrylic paint between your toes?