Continuing from the serenity of yesterday – to chaos today. At least in my thoughts (where poetry lives).
Every time I create I drag boxes and piles out of secret hiding places. I create little towers of items that wiggle dangerously without support and fall down when I leave them. When I move, materials scatter behind me. Scissors rattle, balls of yarn roll away, and thread is always tangled in my shoelaces.
At home I live in the knitted-by-me pink socks and a inherited, brown hoodie, carrying my Moleskine and my favorite pen with me from room to room. I sleep on a bed of paper scraps, because yes, my tiny bed is one of my art tables. I have acrylic paint on my pillow and in the morning I find my glasses in a pile of craft books.
Another one of my common “work places” is a moving train, when I commute. I sit there at night as I travel through space – towards my home and those pink socks. I recently brought out my glue stick and scissors for the first time in public. I got looks of curiosity and wonder, but I felt proud as I used my sharp little scissors to cut out printed whales and words. My backpack is my storage, my notebook is my refuge and friend.
The seat I sit on, is my whole world.
I have to carry around my glue stick right now, I miss it too much if I don’t. When I sit down, anywhere, I need the latest three transparent folders of clippings close. They are filled with magazine clippings and gathered envelopes and ticket stubs and painted papers… And they bring me comfort and joy.
I bring my knitting with me on the buss too, even when I don’t want to knit, just in case. I see collagable papers everywhere and I wish I could find peace in contradictions. I have a messy thrilling life. I am a succulent woman.
I loose my head in creative joy.
I am a woman that when you meet me, will remind you of an onion. Peal a layer of paint off me and you’ll find layers of ideas and fresh juicy inspiration and under that another layer of perspiration! I have skin so thin that you can cut it away with a few fell chosen words. My heart beats out pink blood through my blood vessels and I imagine it will one day mix with soil in a beautiful painting in my favorite colors…
I think of simplifying my life but I fail in heartbeat. I messily squirrel away, because I need to.
*waving*
Do you leave a trail of glitter behind you? ;)
Oh Hanna, that is so good! I can just see you and my life is so close to that, I had to read it out to my husband. It’s the very definition of a juicy, succulent life.
I love your blog and creativity and beautiful photos.I?ll put a link to your page on my blog if you don?t mind.
Poetry… I haven’t cut-and-glued in public yet but I did allow myself to draw in public. Once last summer and once this summer (at a family gathering too.) It’s a start.
It smells like autumn here today. I’m happy.
*hugs*
Sophie
beautiful chaos…
:0)
Beautiful post. Beautifully put.
How wonderful! Reading your latest post, I see we have a lot in common, though I have not managed to do creative stuff in public, except for write in my journal, I glue stuff in later.
My husband refers to my “mess” as creative chaos, others just seem to think I’m terminally untidy.
So what joy it is to read about your creative life and know that there are others out there.
How about you offer collage/journalling courses on the train?
You say you’d like to “find peace in contradictions”, I think life is all about contradictions and paradoxes. I’ve been trying to simplyify my life all this year. The boxes just seem to outwit me. Much joy to you
What a great post. How nice to define ourselves as all the different layers that make us up. Depth and color and intrigue are found in it all. I think it would be sad to simplify this life!
A beautiful post, Hanna.
What an intensely creative person you are Hanna. I will never know how you find the time to do so much but I love reading about it and looking at your lovely pictures.
Hanna, I felt such identification with you, here! At the beginning of the holiday crafting, two tables filled with supplies exploding all around, but somehow I still find what will work for the projects. Sometimes something surprising! Don’t you love taking all your supplies with you? It gives me a sense of ease and comfort, knowing they are at hand if I want to work. I finished charms this morning at the office before 8am, with wire and beads!
And the words ‘succulent woman’…
fabulous!
You’re inspiring, Hanna!
Mmm! Ahlgrens Bilar!!
what a lovely description! i could definitely relate!