A motherless child

I’ve been single for three months my ex tells me.

My heart is still so sad, but I’ve decided keep on with my life a wee bit better than I’ve done these past months. Today I’m traveling home to my parents to be nurtured and loved by them. I feel lucky to have a family. And the support of my friends. It is summer. I have an education that I treasure. I know the things I know and nobody can take it away from me.

The entries in my art journal might look colourful but to me they are about sorrow. I just haven’t been able to think about anything else. So they tell the same thing over and over; Loss. Tears. Love. Fear. Loneliness. Him. Me. Sadness. The unknown future.

Like this spread:

sometimes I feel like a motherless child

A couple of weeks ago I listened to Jimmy Scott singing this song and it just stayed with me. The lyrics felt so fitting that I wanted to do a art journal entry about it.

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child, a long way from home.

Sometimes - detail

I’ve been without internet for two weeks now and not missed it a bit. But today when I have access (at least the internet connection is good now in my life) I noticed that I’ve been wanting to write blog posts. Missing it actually. Thinking about it again. Wanting to connect to my art and craft friends. Even though my whole life is still upside down and I don’t know where I’m going right now.

So I’ve payed for my PRO account over at flickr, uploaded photos and started to blog again. The comments is on since last week, and I thank every one of you for letting me know you’ve read or seen or noticed. Thank you.

The background image that I used on the right side of this spread is made by artist Nancy Baumiller. She posted about it in her blog and I’ve been meaning to link back and show the result for a long time now. I interviewed Nancy a couple of months ago about her journaling that I find so enchanting and beautiful. She then said something that has helped me tremendously these weeks. She said:

    – I am not afraid to write and tell the world what I am feeling inside. The more I express the better I feel, especially on a bad day…

It just released something in me. And I’ve journaled on almost all of my bad days since, in collage, text, colours and personal imagery. Expressing. Dealing with. Trying out. Communicating. Crying.

23 Responses

  1. Jeg husker ikke om jeg allerede har kommentert en gang p? bloggen din eller om jeg bare tenkte det, men i alle fall: Det er en kunstnerisk reise ? titte p? alt du har lagd og kreert! Du er s? utrolig kreativ! Jeg elsker ? “snoke rundt” p? sidene og hente inspirasjon eller bare titte :)

    Sender en god tanke i en trist tid. Jeg lover – det kommer bedre dager!

    Hilsen norsk blogger som fant bloggen din gjennom en jungel av andre blogger,
    Am?lie :)

  2. Jag måste vara trög eller nåt…. är han ditt X nu? Skickar en stor kram, och önskar att jag kunde ge dig den på riktigt.

  3. I am so sorry Hanna (I feel so insensitive). Art is therapeutical, and I think it’s a great outlet.Thanks for sharing your pages and feeling, and Nancy’s comment. I have a lot to learn. I have my journals, but I can’t write anything meaningful because I’m always scared to show it. I hope time, art, family, summer, will help you gain strength!

  4. I know how much it can hurt to “lose” a partner. I’m glad that you’re reaching out to the Internet and making contact and staying in touch. I hope that you will continue to share your beautiful work with us, even when it is happy (or sad).

  5. Vid at jeg sender gode tanker i din retning, jeg k?mper ogs? selv for ikke at drukne i samme sag.Flot at du kan bruge din kreativitet til at arbejde med det. Stort knus herfra.

  6. Big huge healing hugs and girl, your going to be OK..why because you have this big art community to help you pull through it all! Journaling and art is definately great therapy…let it out with art darlin! If you need anything you know how to find me! :) Your journal pages are so beautiful! Much love and more hugs!

  7. Hey girl! Time is the great healer. You have such a wonderful passion for creative expression – it makes perfect sense to release yourself emotionally through your art – your up and wonderful days as well as the low and sad days.

    It may not be exactly the same situation – but when my mom died I made it through those sad months mainly because I turned to making art.

    Good vibes your way and much love.


  8. I didn’t realize this is why you’ve been away from blogging. I’ve missed your posts so much. I know it’s difficult to go through a breakup but you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out – you’ll find support everywhere you look. I’m glad you’re back!

  9. sooo sorry…. i was there myself a few years ago …….. my life altering changes changed my art…and it was good…..i wish the best for you….with every ending there is a NEW BEGINING…..

    hugs & art….colleen

  10. ?h … k?rlekssorg. S?rj, tills du ledsnar. Men se till att komma ?ver honom sen. Vare sig det blir ni igen n?gon g?ng i en framtid eller ej. ?h, se till att ha roligt sen. Kanske ?r du aldrig mer singel mer inom kort, vem vet?!

  11. I kept checking your blog and knew there was a reason for your absence. There will be parts of him with you for a long time but all of this is preparing you for the next good man that enters your life. I am glad you are back but write when you only feel up to it. You need to care of yourself.

  12. Honey, a very wise woman once said about men.

    “They are making them things everyday. Move on.”

    easy to say…hard to do, but give it a try.

  13. I can say from my own experience that the things that hurt the most become memories to treasure, even though it may take a while.

  14. A huge hug, dear Hanna. There’s a quote here that sounds like “in life, when you close a door, immediately you open a bigger one”. I know, is so sad and so painful but this is a new beginning, and I really wish that this will be a great path, rich of satisfaction, love and happyness.
    You are not alone, don’t give up!

  15. welcome back lovely hanna, I am so glad you have found a way to create and release this stuff you are living with – your work is so inspirational. love yourself
    and take care

  16. K?re Hanna

    Dejligt at vide du er “p? banen” igen, jeg har savnet dig! Og jeg er glad for at vide, du har en god familie der st?tter dig! Opbrud er altid h?rdt, men det er ogs? mulighed for udvikling. Der er noget andet som skal ske…

  17. Glad to have you back, and i’m sorry to read about your heartbreak. Here’s hoping that blogging and art can help fix you.

  18. I’ve been reading your blogs for quite a while and thought I’d comment today. My heart goes out to you. The hurt will pass. Thank you for sharing all of your wonderful thoughts and art. You are an inspiration.

  19. Jag har ?gnat en l?ng stund ?t att l?sa ikapp din blogg och fastnar p? detta inl?gg. Vilken jobbig period du g?r genom :-( En stor kram till dig. Sk?nt att se att du har din familj n?ra. Dessutom m?ste ditt skrivande och skapande vara nyttigt f?r dig. Det ?r s? m?nga tankar och k?nslor som beh?ver uttryckas. Dessutom ser jag att du avslutat din utbildning (grattis!) och jag f?rst?r att du verkligen st?r p? tr?skeln till en ny fas i ditt liv. Jag ?r s?ker p? att det ordnar sig p? ett bra s?tt p? dig. Men ta och vila dig i sommar. Kram!

  20. I am praying for your wounds to heal quickly. There is nothing worse than a broken heart! I do think that art will be the salve that heals you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and soon you will run again and feel full of life. Blessings to you!

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