I’ve been single for three months my ex tells me.

My heart is still so sad, but I’ve decided keep on with my life a wee bit better than I’ve done these past months. Today I’m traveling home to my parents to be nurtured and loved by them. I feel lucky to have a family. And the support of my friends. It is summer. I have an education that I treasure. I know the things I know and nobody can take it away from me.

The entries in my art journal might look colourful but to me they are about sorrow. I just haven’t been able to think about anything else. So they tell the same thing over and over; Loss. Tears. Love. Fear. Loneliness. Him. Me. Sadness. The unknown future.

Like this spread:

sometimes I feel like a motherless child

A couple of weeks ago I listened to Jimmy Scott singing this song and it just stayed with me. The lyrics felt so fitting that I wanted to do a art journal entry about it.

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child, a long way from home.

Sometimes - detail

I’ve been without internet for two weeks now and not missed it a bit. But today when I have access (at least the internet connection is good now in my life) I noticed that I’ve been wanting to write blog posts. Missing it actually. Thinking about it again. Wanting to connect to my art and craft friends. Even though my whole life is still upside down and I don’t know where I’m going right now.

So I’ve payed for my PRO account over at flickr, uploaded photos and started to blog again. The comments is on since last week, and I thank every one of you for letting me know you’ve read or seen or noticed. Thank you.

The background image that I used on the right side of this spread is made by artist Nancy Baumiller. She posted about it in her blog and I’ve been meaning to link back and show the result for a long time now. I interviewed Nancy a couple of months ago about her journaling that I find so enchanting and beautiful. She then said something that has helped me tremendously these weeks. She said:

    – I am not afraid to write and tell the world what I am feeling inside. The more I express the better I feel, especially on a bad day…

It just released something in me. And I’ve journaled on almost all of my bad days since, in collage, text, colours and personal imagery. Expressing. Dealing with. Trying out. Communicating. Crying.