There is something pristine with a new notebook, so I hesitate. The cover calls out for me to open it, but my brain tells me to wait. Can I really, today, find something (there inside my head) worth saving in this beautiful book? Is today the first day with this new friend? Or will the ink blur and the white of the pages become mad? Will my words be cowards today, and hide themselves from the world?
I fear the unknown, but I dread the passing of one single day that I haven?t used properly. And what is properly used to me is probably not at all good enough for someone ells, or vice versa. But then again, if I don?t try today, I will not know what I missed out on. That goes for a lot of things. So I bend back the red rubber strap that keeps the covers from unwillingly open, and bring the tip of the pen to the paper and starts to write.
I have had a thing for note books for as long as I can remember. I have had and used every kind, and became friend on different levels with them all. The thin booklet style, the perfumed diary with pink ornaments on every page, the black sophisticated with oilcloth cover, the soft note book dressed in red silk with embroidery on. And also of course, the ones you buy just because the cover is so amazingly cool, or the pile you collect when there is a sale and so on. But I?ve never been a collector, in that I would buy just to have. I have passed by more beautiful books than I will ever have the time to fill in my entire life. (I could have filled a bag when I was in Taiwan, but left the country without a single one). So the ones I own I use, and I put them to good use too. I have filled everyone of the note books I?ve bought over the years, mostly with my words and thoughts. Daily scribblings, you might call it.
And the pages fill quickly. Now the book don?t even look like a new book anymore, it is used – and has no second hand value, less so than used panties. But on the other hand, in a couple of days it will be worth more than money in sentiment value to me, because the best part with note books is that they helps me save memories for the future.
And once I fill this one up, I can buy a new one again! Hurray!