The inside of my brain

My Diary is full - full of Love

Yesterday I finished my Moleskine diary. It’s as full as my brain. Overflowing. Nothing else will fit in there right now.

Here’s a view of how my brain looks most of the time (image found in this very moleskine diary):

The inside of iHanna's head, a Moleskine diary scan and brain dump picture Inside my messy brain there are so many things floating around. Unrelated stuff just floating around, just as they are when you take a peek in my bags, my room, on the floor under my bed and in my boxes of art and craft material. Things that does not seam to be connected to each other. Seemingly they’re just floating around and not moving me anywhere. And then there is all these questions to ponder…

– Where am I going? It’s three months left of this year and I’m already contemplating 2009 and my choices and priorities for the upcoming year

And there are a lot of questions spinning around inside my head. Like:

– Should I try to do NaNoWriMo this year again? Should I then try another novel or write about creativity and those subjects nagging me?
– What will be my focus for next year? What big project do I want to undertake?
– What shall I do with my blog and in what direction do I want it to head?
– Why does it feel like I’m standing still and not getting anything done?
– What digital project should get my attention and go onto printed paper first?
– What happened to my journalistic ambition?
– Do I want to stop crafting and concentrate on making art? Could I make a decision about what materials I should focus on; fabrics (quilting art), paper (collage), mixed media (collage in bigger form) or mainstream craft (to sell)?
– Could I find online resources that would pay me to write? I want to write badly, but I don’t know where to start and I’m kind of really really slow when it comes to get DOING what I want and need to do!
– Should I print a photo album of this year or last year first? Put all photos from one year in one album or do several smaller ones? Should I do a photo book for print-on-demand that you my friends and readers could order?
– Should I put out another blog book and what year should I pick? This or last year (2007)? Could I do it in InDesign then and make a better layout? But how to get all the images and text in there the most efficacious way?
– Asked before but still have no action plan: what to do with all my Daily Art Cards? Should I do them next year too or something else that will be a daily act of creativity?

My Diary is Love

These and other questions needs to find answers soon, but as you can see my brain does not contain the answers (yet). Only random words floating around without connection or plan. Should I reread GTD already or should I go back to my lists and writing prompts to figure all of this out? Could it even be figured out? I don’t think so, but some of these issues I need to address! It’s my life and I’m a mess!

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25 Responses to The inside of my brain

  1. Shell says:

    I feel all creative people ask themselves these kind of questions. So you are so not alone on this one. The answers will come to you when you least expect it. So let your mind marinate for a bit.

  2. Laura says:

    Thanks for your brain map! Does it help you to write out all of the questions? I know it does for me. It’s like taking a crazy mess (such as your bedroom) and making it Martha Stewart-esque organized.

  3. Mirjam says:

    I’m not very good at English, but i love to read your blog..

    just be you!

    I like to draw, paint or work with fabrics

    Is it ok? that i have your link on my blog?

  4. Whatever answers come to you, one thing is certain. You’re going to have a brilliant and creative 2009!

  5. lynn says:

    love the drawing of the brain even if I cannot read the language describing what is in there.

  6. I am having a pretty nice time not answering any of the questions in my head… :) I put my inner voice on “do not disturb”…just like the answering machine.

  7. kim mailhot says:

    I don’t think you are a mess – I think you are at a cross roads. My sweet Russian grandmother, Bubbie, who has been gone now for 14 years, always said “When you don’t know what to do, do nothing !” Enjoy the pause time… it is all part of the process…the answer will come when you are ready…

    (i think this is some advice for myself as well…it is the Russian grandmother, babushka, talking through me…Da !)

  8. Eveline says:

    Yessss you should do Nanowrimo again this year. I’ve been doing it for a few years now, and love it!

  9. MissKoolAid says:

    I understand… I’m there too. Questions questions questions…

    I’m doing Nanowrimo again this year so if you do too, we can at least encourage each other.

    *hugs*
    Sophie

  10. Jenny says:

    Hej – jag f?rs?ker mejla dig via kontaktformul?ret p? din sajt, men det funkar inte…

  11. Yes – questions about what to do. I also have many many tings I want to do. How to take a deciscion?

    I find the best way is to start out concentrating on one thing at a time – for a short time. Say a week per activity. Then after you’ve done that you might feel what you actually liked the most and decide to do just those things. Because you can not do all at the same time and do it good! I’m an artsist working with several materials – and I always concentrate on some few materials at a time (say drawing and enamel) – and then I have another periode when I work more with other materials (for example oil painting and collage)

    Then you might have to put some things aside for some time. I’ve just moved to Lonodn and I have to NOT work with my graphics for some time now. I’m limited to painting and works on paper that can be made at home (I miss my studio!)

  12. Pippa says:

    Wow you’re thinking about next year already! Good idea. I have so many of the same questions. There are so many things that I want to make and do but so little time – I want to do it all at once!

  13. Marcia says:

    I can appreciate the not knowing which way to go. There are so many things I want to do I can’t seem to devote myself to just one. But it’s so much more Wonderful to be brimming with ideas and projects than to have an empty head!

    Now, you’ve tickled my fancy with this Nanowrimo thing. I’ve always wondered how anyone could write a novel. Maybe this is a way to learn how to do it?

    Add that to the “brainstorm”!

  14. Cathy says:

    I agree with Kim’s granny Hanna. Do nothing for a while and relax. The answers will come when you least expect them. Sometimes it helps to think about things last thing at night before sleep and see what dreams reveal. You have so many varied talents that it must be difficult to focus on just one. I am sure things will work out to your satisfaction though.

  15. heidi says:

    I wish I had HALF the motivation that you do!!! You’re my crafting hero

  16. Flassie says:

    Did you have a book signing with your last book?
    If not I think it would be great if you did.

    I see you have your Father’s Mother on your mind
    and a whole lot more.

    I got two dvd’s in the mail of Dr. Daniel Amens. Waiting for his book called Change Your Brain, Chage Your Life.

    So much to know about the Brain. It’s not fully developed till age 25. We need to protect it and
    love our brains Dr. Amen says.

    So many things we put in our bodies effect the brain.

    I’ve been planning to draw the brain. I did a
    Head and Heart one because of a show I watched
    that talked about the Mind and Heart Conneciton.

    Click on Flassie when you get a chance and check her out.

    You’ll figure it all out! I love your blog!!!

    God Bless You and Yours and Your Creative Life!!!

  17. Patricia says:

    These are absolutely wonderful questions to ask oneself as the New Year approaches. You really are a deep within, writer. I think these questions can be helpful for other artists, also.
    I also enjoy viewing your art – it’s fresh and new with each post. I can’t remember who wrote this quote –
    ~I want to be at once the bow and the arrow.~ This is so true for many artists. Thanks for the lovely comment you left on my blog about the cake. Have a great rest of the week.

  18. Hanna, whatever you decide, you are a major inspiration!

    Good luck, and congratulations on filling your Moleskine.

    I LOVE your brain map.

  19. Fran says:

    Love the drawing of your brain! Mine feels much the same most of the time. It’s good to have plans and goals even when they end up changing completely :)

  20. cliodhna says:

    cool questions.. lots of them! do what I do and make endless lists everyday and feel like you are organizing things!
    good for you for filling your notebook, I always have the last few pages blank… have to make an effort to finish it all
    x

  21. leaca says:

    I need to fill just one moleskin. I have them for all occasions and have not yet to fill one. I need to just keep it all in one and move on. This was inspiring. I love that you ask yourself the same questions we all do, well in the similar anyway.

  22. Ingrid says:

    hullo,

    i miss seeing your colourful, inspiration updates! where have you gone?

    hope you are well and full of creative energy-

  23. Chris says:

    Hi, Hanna;
    I remember a quote someone shared with me once. I don’t know who first said it. But it came to me in a time when I was trying to juggle two relationships and finding it painful. He said, ‘He who lives a thousand lives, a thousand times must die.’

    I remember it whenever I have so many roads to choose from, because I am only one woman. And because of that, at any one time I must pick one road, and the others will then be lost to me, at least until the two roads meet again and I choose again. This is a common conflict for us creative people and people with passion. We want to live many lives, but at any one time, we can only live one. The others must die to us.
    I don’t mean to get real serious here, it’s just that I think I know how painful it can be to make these choices. I think Cathy suggested doing nothing and the answer will come. That often works, because I find myself thinking of one or two things more often than all the others, and find that I’m being drawn to my true desire. Sometimes, that doesn’t work. It can prove very challenging.

    But try to know in yourself that you are intelligent and passionate, and what you do at this moment will be done greatly and with love. How many people just go through life not wishing to do even one thing, much less a dozen? You are a gifted person, seeing great potential in so much of living. It is good.

    I wish you peace in making these tough choices! We are behind you.

  24. Courtney says:

    It always helps me to do a mind-dump and get all the questions out there. Later, when I least expect it (usually in the shower!), the answers are revealed.

    I’ll look forward to seeing how things progress for you.

    Have you already started on your next Moleskine?

    :)

  25. Wanda Bankson says:

    Love your blog. My husband’s family heritage is Swedish and I am very interested in your writings. I would love to go “thrifting” with you.

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